Osprey Lumbar Packs
|Attention climbers, hikers, tourists, and parents taking their kids to the water park: if you’re ready to upgrade your fanny pack, STAY. ON. THIS. PAGE. |
First off, in addition to upgrading the actual device, you must now refer to it as a lumbar pack. For example, when asking your spouse where they placed the previously-named fanny pack, you will now say, "Honey, where’d you last see the lumbar pack?" Repeat this step until you’re ready to progress onto the next one.
If you’re ready to purchase, you can’t go wrong with an Osprey Talon. Where your old model had a few zippers and a couple pockets, these babies mean business. Not only do they have two hip pockets, a blinker patch, and features to make it super lightweight, it has not one, but TWO (count them…one, two) sleeves for the included water bottles.
Now go throw your old fanny pack in the garbage then slam the lid on top and wipe your hands for emotional closure and dramatic emphasis.