The Moosejaw French Kiss Service

Everyone knows that celebrating New Year's Eve is only about one thing: Frenching. When the Romans invented the modern calendar, it was because the lunar calendar didn't have any important occasions to use as an excuse to lock lips with other people.

In modern times, if you don't kiss a hottie on New Year's, you pretty much don't even get to be part of that year. That's why, this year, Moosejaw has set up a service to increase the Frenching rate of our customers.

The Frenching Service is super simple. If you have someone you want to French when the ball drops, but you're afraid to ask them, just email and we’ll do our best to hook it up for you.

Here are the things we'll need from you:

  • The person's first name you want to French, and their phone number.
  • Where you plan to have everything go down.
  • 5 characteristics that make you want to French that person.
  • 3 things that make you totally Frenchable.
We're only offering this to the first 100 people. Sorry.

Love the Madness,

Here's a message from our mean lawyer.

The Moosejaw Frenching Service (the "Service") and all of its related content are meant for entertainment purposes only. The views, opinions and comments expressed by the Service are not intended to provide professional or other advice and are not those of New Moosejaw, LLC ("Moosejaw").

By participating in the Service, each participant explicitly releases and holds harmless Moosejaw from all liability (including attorney's and experts' fees and costs) regarding participation in the Service. Participants give their express permission to be contacted by Moosejaw by telephone, e-mail and/or postal mail. Participants may not give the information for anyone who has indicated to them that s/he does not want her/his information shared or submitted.

Winners agree to use of respective name, voice, likeness and any and all identifying characteristics for promotional purposes (including posting to, without further consent or compensation, to the extent permitted by law. Nothing contained herein shall be deemed to obligate Moosejaw to make use of any of the rights granted herein.