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The North Face
Men's Chilkat Leather Boot
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The North Face Boots

After years spent in litigation, we’re proud to announce that our North Face boots collection is back, and it’s better than ever! What was the problem, you’re wondering? Due to the complexities of legal proceedings we aren’t exactly able to get in to specifics, but we can say it had something to do with trying to build the very first artificially intelligent line of robotically-enhanced boots. Let’s just say things didn’t go exactly as planned.

And in retrospect, all that experimenting on behalf of the Moosejaw Sentient Footwear Program was pretty silly. These boots manufactured by The North Face are basically flawless as they are, and who are we to mess with perfection? Sure, these boots can’t think for themselves, and yeah, they don’t have automated laser cannons, but there is plenty good to brag about. You don’t need robot brains to give you a supremely sturdy hiking boot, one versatile enough to handle any snow sport you can throw its way.

Still bummed about the lack of artificial free-thinking in this premium footwear? You’ll be happy to know these boots are packed full of first-class features, with top-notch insulation represented, meaning your toes will stay toasty. Worried about those deeper-than-you-could-have-ever-imagined puddles on the trail ahead? Waterproof is all up in this. And don’t think they’d ever skimp on incredible support for your ankles and arches, giving you a comfortable and safe fit for your travels. Our scientists got carried away trying to build a better boot (and essentially start an entirely new sub-race of robotic footwear) but we can see now that was all completely unnecessary.

Men, women and kids alike can revel in the joy that comes with knowing you’re rocking some of the best boots on the planet. And don’t worry – the boots themselves won’t be reveling in any sort of joy at all. They could feel the entire spectrum of human emotion at one point, but we made sure to turn that feature off.

 

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