Master the art of Royal Camping by setting up a luxurious and lavish base camp. Properly pamper yourself while enjoying the beautiful outdoors.
Tips: Use only sheets with a thread count higher than 1,200. Don’t forget to bring your foot spa and towel warmer. Make sure you can properly control the temperature at all times; no one likes runny gelato.
Grab an instrument and entertain your comrades with some live music. Whether you’re in the car, around the fire, or on the trail. Send us a video of your cover or original number to earn this badge.
Tips: Pan flutes and spoons are light and packable, whereas the banjo and harp are best suited for a larger, more lively crowd. Extra points for making your own instruments from twigs and rocks and stuff.
Wear a suit and tie while climbing, hiking, biking, or kayaking. Pleated pants and a bow tie are also acceptable.
Tips: Once, I saw a guy kayaking in a tie, and I asked him "Where's the funeral?" Then, he started crying as he opened a little plastic bag, and poured some dead fish into the lake. I'm such a jerk sometimes.
Hit up your favorite trail and go for at least a 3 mile run while carrying a sack of potatoes. Or a pack full of oranges, whatever is in season.
Tips: This one is so dumb and if someone actually does it, we'll also send you a special prize.
Hike 60-80 miles in a week. They're saying playing connect-the-dots in the nighttime sky keeps your mind nimble and repels all forest ghosts.
Tips: Provide us with your trail and a photo at the start and finish to earn this badge.
Start a fire without matches or lighters. This one is tough, so send us a video or pics, or we won't believe you.
Tips: A guy once told me you can start a fire instantly with steel wool and a battery. Haven't tried it yet, but he's probably lying.
Find some friends or strangers on the hill and start a conga line. Make sure someone gets a video or it doesn't count. Seriously.
Tips: Go big or go home. Chances are you'll only have one shot to pull this off before you get your lift pass taken away. That's what happened to Blane.
Be the first to set a route while reciting the Declaration of Independence. Extra points for using an antiquated English accent. Don't forget to document this with a photo or video, otherwise we'll just send you an empty envelope.
Tips: Although it's not required, we suggest also wearing a powdered whig, if possible. And spelling whig with an "h".
Prepare a fancy 5-course meal on the trail with whatever you've packed in.
Tips: Start with a creamy lobster bisque and a salad with field greens, goat cheese, and candied pecans. Next, enjoy a nice sorbet palette cleanser. Then, move on to a veal osso bucco. Wrap everything up with a creme brulee or a flourless chocolate torte.
Build an igloo or snow cave and then spend the night in it. Don't forget, the Abominable Snowman is on sabbatical 'til 2015. So no worries there.
Tips: There's really no way we will know if you spent the night or not, but you’ll know, and can you really live with yourself as a phony?
Complete one of the three Triple Crown trails; ACT, PCT, CDT.
Tips: Once you've done this you're totally allowed to brag about it to everyone because you are now an official bad ass.
Survive a whole weekend living off the land with nothing but the clothes on your back and one tool of your choice.
Tips: We also suggest wearing your hair in braids and eating twigs and berries.